Monday, December 29, 2008

Sports Woodshed: Detroit Worst Ever

Welcoming the Detroit Lions to the Sports Woodshed doesn't really do their pitiful performance in 08 justice. The Wooshed Hall of Shame is more appropriate.

Granted, there is a significant amount of clowning that needs to be done, so this moment of futility can truly be appreciated, but I'm above that. Who am I kidding? That statement is about as trustworthy as having Romo catching a snap for a winnng field goal in the playoffs. Or betting on Romo or the Cowboys in any game in December.

Seriously though. I really just have one question for the 08 Detroit Lions.


How do you manage that?

How do you go bagel for sixteen in the NFL? I guess they also didn't know they could tie.

Because shit, everyone knows you play to win the game but at some point maybe they should have just been playing for the tie, not to lose. I'm grasping because I just dont get it.

I don't get how men with pride can drop 16 straight games. I dont know how men can accept the label as the worst team of all time. Because that's what they are. The 08 Lions are the worst team in the history of the NFL. They are the only team to ever run the reverse, in the history of the league.

Here's one:
If your're an NFL stud... And you play for the 0-16 Detroit Lions. After completing the worst season of all time and having your manhood abused like a roofied freshman girl at Frat party... Does this now mean that when you go home tonight it's your spouse's turn to kick you down the stairs? Or maybe it's the call girls turn to snort bam bam off your nipples... It's all in reverse right? I'm just saying. Your 0-16. What?

Times sure are tough in Detroit. Damn. First the Pistons start looking shaky, then the economy, now this? Well at least they got Slim Shady.

Everyone on the 08 Lions should have to get a tattoo on their forehead that says 0-16 so that they will be marked for the rest of time as an example to all who see them that this is what can happen when you just can't get your shit together. They should be marked men like how God did Cain when he killed Able.

I'll take it one step further and ask that these men refrain from reproducing any offspring at the risk that this atrocity may somehow repeat itself.

Quick question: How do you spell suck ass?


Welcome to the Woodshed Hall of Shame.

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