The Woodshed has always been known as that dark place where people are taken to receive their cummuppins, where mercy and compassion are optional and punishment is swift and un-relenting. The Sports Woodshed is no different. It's where the buffoons of the sporting universe end up when they cross the line.
Plaxico Burress, welcome to the Woodshed.
Normally I like to put at least five sport figures in the Woodshed to be efficient. Had to take Shaq there after the freestyle incident, Chad Johnson paid a visit after the Ocho Cinco fiasco and Stephon Marbury is a permanent resident.
Today, there is room for only one. Plaxico Burress. Plax allegedly shot himself in the leg with a gun and had to be hospitalized for the injuries he sustained. You hate to laugh at this stuff because he could have seriously been injured, but.... Come on Plax!
This is beyond dumb. In fact, this has to be the one of the dumbest things anyone in sports has ever done. You feel for the guy, but at some point you just have to shake your head. He doesn't want to practice, he doesn't want attend team meetings, he's already been suspended earlier this season for poor conduct, is Plax trying to ruin his career?
The thing is... The Giants right now are the best team in football. They are favored to win the Superbowl and they look unstoppable. They even managed to put a 23-7 beatdown on the Redskins without Buress. So if you are the Giants what do you do with Plax?
Today he turned himself into the police and to add insult to injury he will be facing criminal charges on gun possession. I can't see how the league won't give him a lengthy suspension. This might be Plax's swan song in NY, I mean enough is enough.
Just imagine the conversation between teamates when the news broke.....
Toomer: Yo, Eli, did you hear about Plax?
Eli: What is it this time?
Toomer: You won't believe me even if I told you.
Eli: Did he get caught beating up a hooker? I told him to stop doing that.
Toomer: No. Worse. He shot himself in the foot.
Eli: What else is new. What did he do?
Toomer: I'm saying, he shot himself in the foot.
Eli: Yeah, he always does. What did he do?
Toomer: No dawg, you're not hearing me. He literally shot himself in the foot. He took a gun. Loaded it. And straight up busted a cap into his leg piece.
Eli: Cocaine is one hell of a drug.
I'd really like to take this to a whole different level of clowning on Plax, but I actually feel bad for the guy. He's clearly disturbed.
Why he can't just kill dogs, make it rain on strippers, beat his girlfriend, sell drugs out the back of his trunk and indecently expose himself on cruise ships like everyone else is beyond me.
Welcome to the Woodshed Plax. Make room for the Lions.